Is My Feedback Motivating? (part. 1)

Is My Feedback Motivating?

Guest post by Susan Fowler

Does giving feedback cause you to toss and turn at night, procrastinate on delivering it, disappoint you when it doesn’t make a difference, or frustrate you because it instigates an argument? No matter what your role, you are probably in a position multiple times a day to give people feedback about their past or current behavior—with the hope of motivating their future behavior. If providing feedback is part of your job or something you do in your personal life almost daily, why can it be so challenging?

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I hope you discover answers and useful information in this three-part series on how to deliver effective feedback drawing on the science of motivation. Maybe it will help you overcome your insomnia, procrastination, disappointment, or frustration—at least when it comes to feedback!

Realize that feedback is always motivating, but not necessarily as you intended.

Consider two examples of typical feedback:

“Sara, I am proud of you for getting this report done ahead of time. It makes my life so much easier. I hope you can continue to be this timely with deadlines in the future.”

“Sara, I am disappointed in you for being late with this report. It made life difficult not just for me—but for others, too. I need you to get these reports in on time in the future.”

Both statements are examples of personalized feedback—information steeped with your judgment. Both are risky.

The first example, praising Sara for her work, risks having Sara embrace the feedback for the wrong reason—to please you. The second example, expressing disappointment in Sara, may prompt her to change her behavior in the future, but also for the wrong reason—to avoid guilt, shame, or fear of not meeting your expectations. In both cases, you risk Sara developing an external need for your praise. Without your ongoing validation, research shows Sara may stop submitting reports on time since her reason for doing it, her reward for acting, has been removed.

Personalized feedback includes evaluative phrases such as …

  • I am so proud of you.
  • You make me happy when…
  • You are amazing (wonderful, terrific, the bomb).
  • I don’t know what I’d do without you.
  • You sure didn’t disappoint me when you…
  • You suck (failed, screwed up)
  • You disappointed me when…
  • I am so disappointed in you.

Remember why you provide feedback in the first place: to develop an individual’s competence and commitment on a meaningful goal and to facilitate high-quality, sustained performance. Giving personalized feedback puts these outcomes at risk.

There is real science behind effective feedback.

Neuroscience demonstrates how praising stimulates the reward-center of our brain. Motivation science has well documented the eroding effect of tangible rewards on productivity, creativity, innovation, and sustained effort. Intangible rewards, such as praising, tie to people’s need for status, power, and image, and have the same eroding effect.

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In the second example above, pointing out a person’s unacceptable behavior by cloaking it in your disappointment can lead to an imposed motivational outlook. Motivation science has shown that people working from this sub-optimal outlook to avoid feelings of guilt, shame, or fear, are more prone to emotional and physical stress—and as a result, are less creative in the short term and less productive in the long term.

Ironically, your well-intentioned praise or expression of disappointment is likely to erode people’s sense of autonomy. They may become more dependent on your opinion of their effort, outcomes, and self-worth than on their own judgment.

If Sara finds value or joy in preparing reports and delivering them on time, what is the purpose of praising her? She might even question why you feel the need to praise her, finding it irritating, inauthentic, or manipulative. But, the biggest risk is that your praise could cause her to shift her attention from her real—and optimal—reasons to perform to sub-optimal reasons: to please you or avoid disappointing you.

Don’t confuse personalized feedback with expressions of gratitude.

Personalized feedback is risky, but you should never shy away from genuinely expressing your thanks. Communicating your gratitude is powerful.

“Sara, I’d like to express my gratitude for the effort you made on these reports. Getting them in earlier than the deadline gave me the ability to focus on something else that was creating a lot of stress. Thank you.”

What is the difference between expressing gratitude and giving personalized feedback? Intention. Your expression of gratitude is not intended to change or reinforce people’s future behavior. Your statement of thanks is not an attempt to develop their competence or sense of responsibility—nor are you looking for a guarantee they will keep up their efforts in the future. When you express gratitude, it is based on your need, not theirs.

Your gratitude, delivered candidly and authentically, without ulterior motives or expectations of future behavior, gives people the choice to continue acting wisely, deepens their sense of contribution and connection, and validates their competence.

Your feedback motivates.

Remember, your feedback is always motivating. The question is whether your feedback is more likely to generate optimal or sub-optimal motivation. If people are optimally motivated, through their values, sense of purpose, or an inherent motivation to perform above expected standards, they don’t need your praise. If they need corrective feedback, your disapproval will usually result in sub-optimal motivation. The science of motivation provides alternatives. In part two of this series, we explore a type of feedback more apt to generate optimal motivation. Find part three here.

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Susan Fowler implores leaders to stop trying to motivate people. In her latest bestselling book, she explains WHY MOTIVATING PEOPLE DOESN’T WORK… AND WHAT DOES: The New Science of Leading, Engaging, and Energizing. She is the author of by-lined articles, peer-reviewed research, and six books, including the bestselling Self Leadership and the One Minute Manager with Ken Blanchard. Tens of thousands of people worldwide have learned from her ideas through training programs such as the Situational Self Leadership and Optimal Motivation product lines. For more resources, including a free Motivational Outlook Assessment with immediate results, visit www.susanfowler.com

feedback

This Feedback Could Change Your Life!

My Love of Feedback

I published a piece on my love of feedback several months ago and I am back to introduce another method of delivering feedback that works exponentially well.

With all the talk about eliminating performance management processes, it’s imperative to have something else, a process, to provide feedback in place.  This is so employees know how they are doing, to repeat productive behaviors or eliminate counter-productive behavior.

Imagine for a Moment

Imagine for a moment that you recently gave some feedback to a team member. You told her that her meeting agendas looked great, but she needed to significantly improve her presentation and meeting management skills.

It’s time to follow up a few weeks later to find out why she hasn’t made the changes needed to be more effective in the areas mentioned. In your follow-up, you discover that she didn’t understand what she could do to improve and that your feedback generated more questions than the benevolent help to intended. She was left thinking “What’s good about my agendas that I can leverage again?” and “What’s wrong with my presentation skills?” and “How did I mismanage the meeting?”

Developed by The Center for Creative Leadership, the Situation – Behavior – Impact (SBI) Feedback tool outlines a simple structure that you can use to deliver more effective feedback. It focuses your comments on specific situations and behaviors, and then outlines the impact that these behaviors have on others.

[Effective] Feedback is a focused dialogue between a manager and an employee, a method of sharing information and perspectives about performance. The goal of ongoing feedback is to identify where performance is effective and where performance needs improvement.

Effective feedback helps the receiver understand exactly what he or she did and what impact it had on you and others. When the information is specific, yet without interpretation, judgement, or evaluation, there is a better chance that the person hearing the  feedback will be motivated to begin, continue, or stop behaviors that affect performance.

Situation – Behavior – Impact

The Situation – Behavior – Impact technique of giving feedback is simple and contains three elements:

SITUATION: Anchors feedback in time, place, and circumstances and helps receiver remember and/or understand the context.

BEHAVIOR: Observable actions that can be recorded (audio or video) and allows feedback receiver to know exactly what he or she did that had impact.

IMPACT: Feelings and thoughts the feedback giver had, and how the feedback giver or others behaved as a result of the feedback receiver’s behavior.

In an organizational and work context, the impact of the behavior can include work outcomes, client satisfaction, work team, and/or the larger organization and business. It can also include the impact on the individual who demonstrated the behavior; in essence, the consequences or result of their behavior on their reputation, perceived professionalism, capability, etc.

Most often, a description of the impact will start with, “I felt …” or, “I was” or, “It appeared to me others were … “.  If you find yourself saying, “you were … “, you’re probably on the wrong track. An impact statement is not an interpretation of why the individual showed that behavior, and it is especially important not to label the behavior in a psychological way or to make a judgment about the person.

SO, before you jump on the bandwagon and eliminate your performance management process, contact us to help you and your employees give each other more effective feedback.  Getting this process in place first will help you make sure you make the right decision in the long term.

Who Are We

EDGE Business Management Consulting, a Network Partner with the Center for Creative Leadership, is a Human Capital Consulting firm, focusing on three primary areas to help you achieve exponential growth.  We can serve you in many ways, however our focus is in the areas of Talent Management, Organizational Development, and Leadership Development.

For immediate inquiries, contact Dan Freschi at (414) 301-3343 or email dan@edgebmc.com, and visit our website at www.edgebmc.com.

For the Love of Feedback

Those that know me well, know that I am a huge fan of feedback. I love feedback of all kinds and constantly ask for it to get better and make changes to how I approach things, train others, speak, teach, etcetera. My colleagues at a previous employer even called me the Feedback King.

Yellow Card

ROTC Yellow Card – Click to see larger

I believe my love of feedback started when I was developing in ROTC to be an Army Officer. In ROTC we had to complete the Cadet Self-Assessment Reports or yellow cards. These yellow cards were required after every mission and assignment when we were in some form of a leadership role. Yellow cards were a summary of our performance while in the leadership role and was detailed using the well-known STAR model, where we would describe the Situation, assigned Task, the Actions taken, and the Results.

 

Blue Card

ROTC Blue Card – Click to see larger

At the same time the student cadre or leader would complete a blue card called the Leadership Assessment Report. This report was where they rated behavior actually observed and recorded their counseling, and would measure certain attributes, skills, and actions.

We would then meet for a quick counseling session to compare notes and discuss my performance. The discussions focused on things I did well and where I needed to improve, along with actions I planned to take to sustain or change the behavior.

As a cadet and as student cadre I experienced both sides of giving and receiving feedback. This practice, however, did not end with my commissioning. This practice of feedback continued through my time in all my professional military schools. Whether it was at the Infantry School or at the Combined Logistics Captains Career School doing peer evaluations through leading soldiers, teams, and units on active duty with counseling, evaluation reports, and pulse and climate surveys. Feedback was a constant and always encouraged.  I encouraged it despite rank and protocol, as long as it was done respectfully and with the proper intent.

Another powerful means of giving and receiving feedback that I still find extremely valuable today is the After Action Review or AAR.  The Army training circular shares that:

The AAR is a professional discussion of an event, focused on performance standards, that enables soldiers to discover for themselves what happened,why it happened, and how to sustain strengths and improve on weaknesses. It is a tool leaders and units can use to get maximum benefit from every mission or task.

The AAR in a corporate or professional setting can be executed in the same way, as a structured debrief process for analyzing what happened, why it happened, and how it can be done better by the individuals involved and those responsible for the project , event, or situation. 

Take a look at the link provided below for more info on how to conduct an AAR.

You’ve probably already seen these, but here are some tips I’ve learned over the years about feedback:

  • Never, ever give someone harsh, critical, developmental feedback in the presence of others. This can be extremely embarrassing to the person receiving the feedback.  Find the right time and place to pull them aside in private.
  • Only give feedback on the things that you heard someone say or behaviors you saw someone do.  Giving feedback from a 3rd party, on something you did not hear or see can be a slippery slope and deteriorate trust.
  • Make feedback a dialogue.  Avoid making assumptions. Make sure to check your information and biases, giving the benefit of the doubt to the other person.
  • Allow yourself to be emotional.  Deal with your emotions, allow yourself some time to be mad, angry, sad, upset, …., and then comeback and deliver the feedback.  Use that time to also prepare, write down what you want to say, focusing on what the things said or done, and as a result how they made you feel and the outcome.
  • Be specific.  Vague feedback might seem insincere or calculating.  Saying “I don’t remember exactly what you said, but it … ” diminishes its impact severely.
  • Be Timely.  Give feedback, both positive and developmental feedback, immediately but no more than 5 days after it happens.  Don’t put it off as not urgent if it’s good. Don’t avoid it or put it off if it’s not so good.
  • Avoid the feedback sandwich, “you did great, but here’s what you did wrong, but I thought you did great”.  You can give both positive and developmental feedback in the same conversation, however, you have to finish one type of feedback before giving the other.  In other words, get through the STAR for positive or developmental before giving the other.
  • Always ask for feedback, for everything you do.  Asking for feedback as a leader builds a culture that asking for feedback is encouraged and more than likely when you give it will be also be received well.
  • When you ask for it, do something with it.  Change your behavior and/or change your own self-perception.  Asking for it without doing something with it is disrespectful and can lead to a lack of trust.
  • Listen.  Ask questions. Admit your mistakes.  Listen to learn how they perceived your behavior, ask questions for clarification and examples, admit your mistakes.

Delivering feedback is a skill that must be fostered and developed.  Delivering positive feedback is easy, yet too many leaders don’t do a very good job at it.  Developmental feedback is not always easy to deliver, accept it.  Your best bet will be to find someone to rehearse if it’s going to be emotional.

Early in my career I learned the valuable lessons and gifts of feedback.  Feedback can be one of the most powerful tools for anyone to learn how to use.  It might be clunky at first, but It’s never too late.

 

 

References:

ROTC Blue Card

ROTC Yellow Card

TC 25-20: A LEADER’S GUIDE TO AFTER-ACTION REVIEWS


 

EDGE- Where Leadership Begins is a Human Capital Consulting firm, focusing on three primary areas to help you achieve exponential growth.  We can serve you in many ways, however our focus is in the areas of Talent Management, Organizational Development, and Leadership Development.

For more information, visit our website www.whereleadershipbegins.com or contact us at 414-301-3343.